He's on your side 

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days I have had in what seems like a long time. There were times in my life that I felt utterly alone. I felt so unwanted, unloved, and useless. Like if I were to disappear, no one would even notice and if they did, they wouldn't care. It's such a heat breaking feeling, on top of the struggles that I was going through. And that's exactly how I felt like yesterday. That heat wrenching, I might die of a broken heart feeling. And I thought those days were behind me.. 

As I was going through these motions, I was sitting in my car, just sobbing. I was wondering how can I feel this way again? I am such a horrible person. Everything is always my fault. I should just disappear and make everyone's lives better without me. No one loves me, no one is supporting me, no one gets me, and no one is on my side. I felt so low. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and just shut my eyes and pretend that I am someone else- that I'm prettier, smarter, funnier, more spiritual, just someone better. And then it hit me. 

Heavenly Father is on my side. God, He loves me more than I can even imagine. He is in my corner, He's the guy that if I was in a boxing match would be giving me my towel, sips of water, and ways to win this fight. If we were high school girlfriends would be that friend that said, "OH NO THEY DIDN'T HONEY!" He's that person. That one person you know you go to when things aren't going your way to support you. But what's so even more amazing about our God is that not only does He support you, He tells you the truth. He's the best support you can have in your life. You ask Him for guidance and He gives it you. He can make you feel so loved it's almost unbelievable. 

And has I continue my life, I have to remember that when I feel so alone and helpless, Heavenly Father is only making me into a better person. He's molding me and breaking me-humbling me to be a better person for His kingdom. A better person for my family, my kids, my friends, and for me. And I am so grateful to be able to have that in my life.