The Clock Strikes Midnight 

Ever thought about how crazy it is that it's already 2015? 
15 years ago I was 6 years old. I played with hot wheels and barbies and only being afraid of what might be under my bed (not saying that I'm still not afraid of that). At 6 years old I never thought my life would be what it is today. And as the clock begins to read January 1st, 2015, we all begin to reflect on what we have gone through in the last year. 
But, as my new year hit, it was not what I had expected. Bear with me here, I'm about to have a "Dear Diary" moment. These past few months my life has been anything but what I want it to be. As a girl we all go through the breakups and heartaches and then makeups and new flings, but as the moments pass we forget the pain- we forget how hard it can be on our hearts to let ourselves be vulnerable. We forget how hard it is to trust in our Heavenly Father. 
And that is exactly how I feel. There are few people that really know the "me," or what I have gone through and are going through today. These feelings of just, unloved and unwanted or not cared about by families, it's a feeling that no one should ever have to go through. That's exactly how I feel at this moment. All night long I have been in tears, thinking to myself, "Why is this happening, God? What was the point in even meeting this man? Why should I marry a man whose family does not even care if I am apart of their lives? How can I marry into that? I can't!" 
And while feeling sorry for myself, I was scrolling through Instagram. On my news feed is a little 18 month year old girl named Kylie. Kylie is suffering from cancer. And it hit me, I'm over here complaining about meaningless things in the long scheme of things while this 18 month old is battling something that I couldn't even think I could handle- and she's winning. There was a woman in my church who said once, "I would rather have my problems than someone else's." 
There is always going to be someone out there who is having to trust in The Lord much more than I am. Someone out there that would much rather be going through my struggles than their own. And I am so blessed to know of that. To know that I am starting the new year healthy, with a family that loves me, with two great jobs, and such loving friends that support the heck out of me. 
There are so many blessings when everything seems to be falling apart around me. There are so many things that can make the situation much worse. So many things that Heavenly Father has blessed me with. And I'm so grateful to feel that love. 

I wish everyone a blissful 2015 and that we will remember those blessings when we think everything is going wrong.